The other night in class we were talking about the reasons God created sex and I asked, “What does it mean when the Bible says God makes us into ONE?”
Silence filled the room until one woman began to share. She said, “The other night, my husband and I were in a disagreement, and then my husband starts making a move on me. In the past, I would have just gotten mad, or brushed him to the side, but this time I made the choice to get on board. We had sex, and the amazing thing was that afterward, the disagreement didn’t seem like such a big deal. We were able to work through it, no problem.”
Matthew 19:5 – For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh
I used to think that when we got married and had sex, God made us into One – end of story.
I now realize that God makes us into One EVERY TIME that we have sex.
Everything in this world will try to rip us apart from our spouse – kids, work, screens, our own selfishness – and we need sex to keep putting us back together, to keep getting us on the same page, to keep clearing out all the junk that tries to divide us.
Many of us have heard the analogy to convince us not to have sex before marriage. You know – the piece of red construction paper that is glued to a green piece of paper. When you pull the two apart, pieces of the red paper are stuck to the green paper – because sex makes us into One.
Sex makes us into One in marriage, too. Every single time that we come together, we glue ourselves to our spouse. It doesn’t matter whether our cup has been filled to overflowing. It doesn’t matter whether sex was on our mind. It doesn’t matter whether we are in agreement. Sex makes us into One.
Sometimes I wonder if husbands intuitively get this better than wives. I think back to the times my husband has reached out to me. Times that I was absolutely incredulous he could even thing about sex…
- When we had been in disagreement and I still did not feel like the issue was totally resolved.
- When I was stressed out about work.
- When I was feeling lonely, sad or depressed.
- When I was worried about one of the kids.
Is it possible that my husband was not just looking for “sex.” Maybe he actually felt this huge chasm between us and was reaching out to me in love. Maybe he knew we needed to become One again.
Making us into One is this amazing thing that God does every time that we have sex. It is unexplainable. It communicates things that words cannot communicate. It is powerful.
I choose to let go of my own ideas of when we should have sex and to trust my husband. Instead of crawling into a hole to pout or stiff arming my husband, I choose to reach for him and trust that God will get me on board. I choose to believe that sex is not just “sex” but that I need it in order to stay glued to my husband.
God makes us into One