Long Distance Connection

I used to hate when my husband traveled for work. My normal stance was to make sure the house was kept in order, the kids were taken care of and to treat my husband as if I was the ice queen. Phone conversations were limited to mundane details and I created a giant protective wall that would take days for my husband to gently disassemble when he got home.

I have since learned that times of physical separation can be an opportunity for fun and growth in expressing intimacy other ways besides skin to skin, sex in the same bed. It forces us to sharpen our other senses beside touch – things like smell, sight, and sound. It stretches us in using our words to connect – emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. We can heighten anticipation to create passionate reunions that are hot and spicy, or we can use technology to communicate and enjoy each other in a whole new way. So whether you are separated for a week or months, hang on tight as I share some ideas to



Turning the Tables


Many wives welcome the idea of their husband sweeping them off their feet.  When he takes charge, she can relax and her mind stops spinning as she surrenders to the journey. His leading brings her pleasure and affirms that his desire is for her. Whether that looks like being ravaged by her husband, an indulgent hours long evening of oneness or anything in between, it takes intention and leadership on her husbands’ part to bless his wife with such an experience.

As wives, I don’t think we fully appreciate the joy that our husbands experience when we are pleased.  On The Marriage Bed husbands have commented:

“Giving my wife an orgasm is more pleasing to me than my own.”

“I love pleasing my wife, nothing makes me happier than knowing she’s satisfied…And I also really love her body and enjoy getting to explore it all.”



CoconutOilCoconut Oil – I love everything about it !!!

I love to use it on my husband. I lube him up – his penis, his testicles, his perineum, all around the area – and it makes my hands glide silky smooth over him. Whether I am enjoying him with my hands, mouth, breasts or any other part of my body, a little bit of coconut oil makes it a whole lot nicer.



Last March after learning about Awaken Love classes from my website, Melanie Lloyd from Texas Skyped into a class for 6 weeks. She was already on a journey of discovering God’s best for her marriage and immediately felt called to share with the women at her church. This month she is teaching her first Awaken Love class  and weekly has been amazed at the work God is doing. After teaching the first night, she emailed me and said, “This is not just TEACHING, this is MINISTRY.”  I am so excited for her and what God is going to do through her. 

Melanie has been instrumental in reformatting the Awaken Love curriculum from a rough outline to a complete study guide. She has experienced true transformation and healing in her life and constantly looks towards God’s word for truth. Her smile lights up a room, her energy is contagious and God is going to use her in powerful ways. 

Today’s post is an article Melanie wrote to encourage women in class to use all 5 of their senses. I look forward to sharing future articles from Melanie as she experiences what it means to minister to women through an Awaken Love class. 

When my husband and I were newly married, every month we attended a mission for a Byzantine Catholic Church; the type of church that he grew up in.  The church and the liturgy are designed to engage all the senses.

catholic churchThe church building itself is divided into three sections to create a journey from the everyday world into the mystery of God, the Body of Christ and finally Heaven. As soon as we walked through the doors, the smell of incense turned my thoughts to prayer.  The icons that covered the interior were theology in color bombarding my eyes with thoughtful symbolism.


Sexual Thoughts

sexual thoughtsI had the honor of hearing Shannon Ethridge speak at a marriage ministry conference in Dallas a couple of weeks ago. Shannon has been a huge advocate for healthy sexuality for years and she is full of spice and life. Her book, The Sexually Confident Wife, changed my life as it clearly communicated how important sex should be to wives and how much fun and enjoyment we should have.

The breakout session that I attended with Shannon was based on her book The Fantasy Fallacy. She started with some very foundational questions.



The 10 Day Challenge over at One Flesh Marriage is Feb 14-23. Please consider joining me on this journey of strengthening your marriage. All the details are at One Flesh Marriage, and at the end of my post I have 10 verdant ideas for the 10 days.


Song of Songs 1:12-16


12 While the king was at his table,
    my perfume spread its fragrance.
13 My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
    resting between my breasts.
14 My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
    from the vineyards of En Gedi.


15 How beautiful you are, my darling!
    Oh, how beautiful!
    Your eyes are doves.


16 How handsome you are, my beloved!
    Oh, how charming!
    And our bed is verdant.

Our bed is verdant?


Summer Vacation Sex

La_Conner_July_4th_Family_Vacation4th of July is almost here and many of us will be heading out on vacation to soak up some sun, play with our kids, bike, swim, camp or whatever it is that you enjoy. For those of us with kids, at times it can feel like anything but a vacation. By the time we have packed everyone up, planned the meals, remembered the sunscreen and the bug spray and dealt with the disruption of regular schedules, we are ready for a vacation from vacation. Often, sex is the last thing on our mind during vacation, but if you are open, vacation can offer some unique possibilities for connecting with our spouse.


Welcome Home Sex

welcome-homeI just got home from a High School Adventure Trip to the mountains in Canada that was an incredible week of hiking, climbing, caving and enjoying God’s creation. It was also 10 days away from my husband, my kids and my bed and I was dead tired, but one of the things I looked forward to most was reconnecting with my husband in a very physical way, if you know what I mean.

I haven’t always been so good at “welcome home sex”. I remember times when my husband would travel for work, and in order to survive, I would just emotionally shut down. By the time he got home, I had everything in order, but I had also put up a wall towards him. I didn’t welcome him home with open arms or an appetite for him. I made him pay his dues and ever so slowly allowed myself to open back up. I look back at those times and think, how much nicer it would have been if I could have just leaped into his arms and wrapped myself around him.

So how do we make “welcome home sex” what it is supposed to be?