Become ONE

oneThe other night in class we were talking about the reasons God created sex and I asked, “What does it mean when the Bible says God makes us into ONE?”

Silence filled the room until one woman began to share. She said, “The other night, my husband and I were in a disagreement, and then my husband starts making a  move on me. In the past, I would have just gotten mad, or brushed him to the side, but this time I made the choice to get on board. We had sex, and the amazing thing was that afterward, the disagreement didn’t seem like such a big deal. We were able to work through it, no problem.”

Matthew 19:5 –  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh

I used to think that when we got married and had sex, God made us into One – end of story.

I now realize that God makes us into One EVERY TIME that we have sex.


4 Year Anniversary of Awaken-Love

A year ago I wrote a post called REMEMBER that celebrated what God had done in my life and through Awaken-Love over the last 3 years. At the end of the post I made this statement…

The safety of staying in the back ground can be just as insulting to God. Why couldn’t God use me in those ways? What if I am supposed to speak to large groups? What if I am supposed to develop a video study? What if…?

I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would actually make videos of the Awaken-Love study, but this June it will become a reality. God has given me an amazing ministry partner in Melanie – we point each other to God, we challenge each other, we speak God’s truth, and we dream the impossible. God is moving so fast, it is both terrifying and exhilarating. He has led us every step of the way and we are so excited to offer the Awaken-Love study to every married women that wants to take it. We are praying for doors to open and connections to be made to get the videos into women’s hands. We are praying for deep conversations as women meet and use the videos to learn about the intimacy God desires for them in their marriage and in their relationship with Him. We are praying that women would be made whole and marriages strengthened as they journey thru Awaken-Love.

So today I REMEMBER year 4 of Awaken-Love

Deep and Wide – I have a hard time turning people away from class just because it is filled. I figure that if they have enough nerve to contact me, then it is a divine appointment, that I had better keep. So for the last 6 months, every class I’ve taught has been filled with as many women as the room will hold. I worried that the large size (18-28 people) would result in women not sharing or going deep, but I have been completely proved wrong.  Women have joined in on discussions, they have openly shared their struggles and in fact, they have ministered to each other in powerful ways. There has been laughter, compassion, righteous anger and tears as the women learn and share, and it has been amazing. I love teaching Awaken-Love and I consider it an absolute privilege to walk along side of women.

Friends – Melanie joined me in June . She is an amazing teacher, my ministry partner and we are joined at the heart.  It has only been a year but it seems like a lifetime and I cannot imagine doing any of this without her. Erin, Melissa, Margie, Rebecca and Tracy have since joined our teaching ranks. Interviewing each of them was such a pleasure and privilege. To see God’s calling on them so strong, that they would step out and teach about sex – even when it was terrifying. They are amazing women and I consider it a privilege to minister side by side with them.

Men – One of the surprises that came this year was God calling us to further develop a men’s curriculum to compliment the women’s Awaken-Love study. With all that has happened this year, it has felt at times like a distraction, and yet I can’t seem to let it go. Melanie and I have spent time wrestling with ways to make the Men’s Edition most effective, accessible and act as a reinforcement to the women’s class. I am excited to team teach with my husband Jim in June as we continue to refine the curriculum. We are open to God’s calling and direction as we have no idea where we are going.

I asked Melanie to read last year’s post REMEMBER  and she emailed me saying,

I read this last night and smiled a lot.  It is amazing to know more of the details about the journey God has you on – and brought me to go on alongside you.  I can’t wait to hear the stories at year 5 and 10 and 15!  We have no idea what He has in store…which is a great thing because it exceeds anything we could plan!

And so we ask God for immeasurably more that we could plan or imagine…

Ruth BuezisIf  you want to help, we are still raising funds towards all the details that go with distributing the videos. Thank you for your support, for you encouragements and for your prayers.



cropped-milacs-pictureMelanie came to Minnesota this weekend for the first time. We drove thru snow, walked on a frozen lake, and experienced the spring thaw that leads to wearing t-shirts in 55 degrees. The two dimensional rooms of my house that she had only seen thru skype became real spaces that form the walls of what I call home. She met three of my daughters, ate dinner as part of our family and held her own in the sparring spree of wit that never ends.

Melanie came to join me at a winter retreat I started hosting five years ago when God placed in me a desire for more intimacy. Intimacy comes from many places -God, our spouse, our family and our friends – and so this retreat was born out of a desire to have intimate connection with friends.

The retreat is a weekend of about 20 women talking, eating, worshiping, serving and praying together. Instead of listening to a speaker, we spend time sharing stories of how we have seen God. Our focus this year was about how we have experienced God’s healing in our lives and asking for more.  We heard amazing stories of God’s goodness and power. We spent time alone asking what we needed to dig up, lay down,  or unwrap. We asked God for what we needed and wanted and we worshiped Him.

photo-shootDuring the weekend, Melanie and I got some much needed time just talking – talking about how we met our husbands, how they proposed, the mistakes we have made, our insecurities and about what God is telling us. Over and over we are reminded of the importance of keeping our priorities right – God, our husband, our kids, and then everything else. For us, a lot of the that “everything else” is Awaken-Love.

Melanie and I have always encouraged each other that we don’t want Awaken-Love to become a full time job – but honestly, for me, it is. With my family grown, my husband has blessed me with the opportunity to spend my time devoted to Awaken-Love. Even though I thrive on ministering to people thru Awaken-Love, I have to be so careful to not let things get out of balance. I do not get my worth out of Awaken-Love, the only thing that matters is that I love God and I am following Him. As I sink more and more into full time ministry, I realize the importance of not just staying glued to my husband, but glued to God. Without Him nothing else matters – I do this for Him and because of Him.

And so whether you are working on your marriage,  your sex life, helping others or whatever passion God has place on your heart – be careful to keep God at the top.

Guard yourself from worshiping what God does in your life.

Worship God Himself. 

Next Monday, we start an awesome 4 week series called Getting to Know your Wife’s Body.

Face the Difficulties Podcast

The IMG_40452nd half of my podcast with Belah Rose at Delight Your Marriage is live!  Belah and I talk about how God’s best is for us to build unity in our marriage by facing our struggles and revealing our self to our spouse, rather than running away from difficulties or hiding our self from our spouse.  God wants to grow us and our spouse closer to Him and to each other.  We talk about the fruit that results from working through difficulties.  Thanks for checking it out! If you missed Part 1 of Belah and I’s discussion then listen in sometime!



The other night one of the ladies stayed after class to ask a question, “I was just wondering…” she said, “in our reading, a couple of places it has said that women don’t always need to have an orgasm. Do you agree with that?”

Her question reminded me of the importance of filtering everything we learn about sex through God’s word – even Christian resources.


Journey to Sexual Freedom Podcast

Today, I am talking with Belah Rose over at Delight Your Marriage sharing how God has redeemed my marriage bed so that my husband and I can glorify Him by living out His original design for husbands and wives to be “naked and unashamed.”  Please head over to hear Part 1 and plan on returning next Tuesday for Part 2 of our conversation. While you are there, check out Belah’s other resources that inspire wives in wholehearted intimacy.


Comfort SEX

comfortI never thought that I would reach for my husband when I felt sad, stressed or overwhelmed, but that has been one of the surprising results of figuring out this thing called SEX.

In Awaken-Love classes we talk about all the reasons that God created sex. The book Intimate Issues shares that one of the reasons is for comfort. After David and Bathsheba lost their child in 2 Samuel 12:24 it says, “Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba, and he went to her and lay with her.”

In class, I often ask if any of the women can relate to sex being a comfort. Often I hear of experiences of women comforting a husband thru a bad day at work, a job loss, or even a death in the family. We tend to think about sex being a comfort for men, but remember, this was David comforting Bathsheba – not Bathsheba comforting David. Sex is to be a comfort for women, too.


On the Edge Interview

hbg6i3q8_400x400Earlier this week, Ruth and I had the pleasure of speaking with Kenneth Mitchell over at Missions Radio on his radio show “On the Edge.”  We shared about the Awaken-Love ministry, our classes, and most importantly, we talked about God’s perfect design for sex within marriage.  Intimacy within marriage is powerfully good!  Grab your spouse or a friend and listen to the interview.


Listen In!

Ruth and I’s interview on Missions Radio has been moved to Thursday, January 21st at 10am CST.  You can go to the stations’s website to listen in or download the Live365 app on your phone and tune in to the Missions Radio channel.  We are really excited for the opportunity to share what God has done in our lives and this ministry and what an amazing gift He designed sex to be within marriage.    


Marvelous Year

Last January, I commented on Ruth’s blog asking:

Do you offer classes online? I don’t live anywhere near your church. Just curious. Thanks!

It seemed like an innocuous question. Here we are a year later – ministry partners, good friends, her husband has babysat my kids, and we’ve been on a double date.  Even though we live over 1,000 miles apart, Ruth has become a household name.  My oldest son even wrote when Ruth will visit on his pocket calendar.  God is a good, good God full of surprises.

When I contacted Ruth, what seems like lightyears ago, she had been teaching women the Awaken-Love study for three years in the Minneapolis area.  Following God’s calling, she shepherded women as they discovered God’s design for intimacy within marriage and ministered to countless other men and women through her blog.  When she replied to my question, asking if I would be interested in skyping into a class, I don’t think she ever dreamed that God intended for our lives to become so intertwined.  I certainly didn’t see it coming at all!