RR Summer Surprise

As summer approaches and the temperatures rise, it’s time to turn up the heat in your marriage bed!  Ironically, this position doesn’t involve a bed at all.  Instead, it creates an opportunity for a wife to surprise her husband with some summer loving.

The Summer Surprise works best in your own backyard or other semi-private outdoor space.  During a summer picnic for two or an evening relaxing on the deck, she can take a simple make-out session to the next level by pre-planning her attire.  She should select a long flowy sundress or skirt, perhaps a tank top or other shirt that allows her to go bra-less, and most importantly, she must just happen to forget her panties.

While her husband is sitting, a wife can straddle his lap and sit facing him. This allows for some great kissing, which can lead to some heavy petting.  As she becomes aroused, he will surely be tantalized by her nipples peeking through her top.

Before things heat up so much that he nudges her to take the action inside, a wife must decide which direction to take. She can lead his hand under her skirt and invite him to manually stimulate her as they continue kissing.  She can also surprise her husband by discreetly unzipping his pants under her skirt.  Then she can manually stimulate him and/or insert his penis for some secret outdoor intercourse while she remains on his lap – and her flowy skirt conceals the action.

The Summer Surprise offers so many options that it must be enjoyed multiple times over the sunny season.  It is sure to create fun memories for both husband and wife to recall when the winter chill arrives.

heart thoughtbubble

Side by Side

Sometimes sex is more about the connection than anything else.

We enjoy the pleasure – but we just want to feel so in tune with our husband or wife – that the connection takes precedence. We want to be in sync with our spouse – not one of us leading or one of us following.  No one is directing or even verbally communicating – but two  just moving as one.

Ephesians 5:21 – Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Side by Side is face to face intercourse while lying on your sides. There is no dominant role or passive role – just the interplay between the two. Movements become smaller and subtler and the intensity of stillness can make the power of connection much more obvious. Eyes lock, lips lock and skin meshes with skin. The dance of bodies pressing into and pushing back inter plays with the grasp for togetherness. Bodies stretch out, tense, arch and release as every sensation of the other is seen and felt.

The easiest way to get into the Side by Side position is to start with the wife on top straddling her husband. When she is ready, the wife can gently lay forward while stretching out her legs. Gradually, both roll to the side while holding each other. Once on their sides, legs come together and bodies outstretch. Pillows might be slid out of the way as the firmness of the mattress contrasts the soft flesh of your bodies.

Take your time, focus on each other and move as one.

IMG_0438 (1)

T for Two

TsignMany positions that allow a wife to feel her husband’s power do not allow husband and wife to be face to face.  Yet, there is something about the security, trust and knowing expressed when a wife can look her husband eye to eye as he shares his passion.

The “T” position starts with the wife lying on her back with her bottom on the edge of the bed.  (There is an obvious opportunity for OB/GYN parallels here, but don’t go there unless you want all sex appeal to be lost.)  The husband stands at the edge of the bed and aligns his pelvis with hers. Together, their bodies make a “T” shape.  Pillows and wedges come in handy to prop up her hips if needed or he can stand on a stool or bend his knees to match their heights.

Visually, this position is a winner for husbands.  Not only does he get a view of his wife’s body, but he can also see his manhood in action.  The wife can use her hands to touch her breasts, manually stimulate her clitoris or whatever else may be tantalizing for the duo.  With some simple adjusts, such as him leaning back or switching the angle of her hips, G-spot stimulation is pretty easy to achieve as well.

Since the distance between spouses doesn’t allow for easy kissing, the husband and wife can use their mouths to speak arousing and connecting words.  She can describe his power and what she appreciates about his physique.  He can compliment the unique beauty of her body, suggest what he’d like to see her do with her hands, or describe how it feels to be inside her.

And don’t forget the eyes – the power of this position!  Locked eye contact ensures the undeniable presence of both spouses being fully engaged in every second of the encounter.

It’s important for husbands to consider that some women can feel un-grounded – and thereby distracted and unable to be fully present in the action – if their legs are not secured.  Instead of leaving them dangling, drape her legs over his shoulder, prop her feet flat on his torso with her knees bent, wrap his arms around her knees holding them against his chest or bend her legs around his body so that her feet interlock or rest on his back.

Another great attribute of the “T” position is that spouses can move the action from the edge of bed, to the edge of a table, a counter or other flat surface.  “T” time anyone?


Laid Back

It is funny how just a slight twist can make a position feel so different.

One of the most successful positions for a woman to experience an orgasm during intercourse without any extra stimulation is Coital Alignment Technique, or CAT. I wrote about it in a post titled Positions and Movements, so here is an excerpt from that article.

CAT is really just a variation of missionary position.The man enters and then shifts his body up towards his wife’s head so that his shaft is actually wrapped over her vulva and across her clitoris. Instead of elevating his body with his arms, he lowers his body just enough so that he does not put too much weight on her. The motion is not a thrusting in and out of the penis, but a rocking up and down. You will need to play around to figure out what works well, so direct his movement by placing your hands on his butt or hips… Women that orgasm easier with their legs together can, one at leg at a time, shift their legs to the inside of their husbands. Some women enjoy the feeling of being fully pinned against the bed by not using a pillow under their head.

The small twist of a husband sliding the pillow out from under her head changes everything. It tilts her head back to more of an attitude of surrender. The mattress provides firm support as her husbands body gently sandwiches her. No longer able to see anything other than her husbands face, eyes lock eyes. Rocking becomes a sensual interchange of connection and disconnection.  As husband and wife focus  on where their bodies become one, pelvis’s engage and urge for more.



Wrapped Up

I have to be honest, this is not a position that I ever ask for – not because I don’t like it – but because I am too worn out to ask.  It is a position that my husband takes me when I am tired and over loaded – and he just wants to wrap me up and love me. In fact, usually when my husband wants to take me there, he has to insist on it. With his steady words and strong arms he has to convince me that he really does want to do this, and that it is ok for me to sit back and just relax. (If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have a really great husband.)

between-legsTo get into this position, the husband should pile up some pillows against the headboard of the bed. He can then sit with his back against the pillows, fairly upright with his legs spread apart. He can gently guide his wife to sit between his legs with her back resting against his chest. The wife’s body will need to be tucked in close so that his hands can reach all the way to her thighs. He can wrap his arms around her to gently stroke and warm up her body. He can nuzzle his face against her hair and neck to smell her. He can gently run his fingers up and down her arms, around her breasts and down her sides to her thighs. Eventually one of his hands can rest on her mound as he leisurely strolls his fingers through her garden. He can spend time just feeling her clitoris through stillness and slow movements as he warms her up. As her body begins to relax, she can let her head rest along one of his shoulders. The closeness and security of this position can lead to a different kind of experience that may be much less physical and seeking, but much more relaxing, surrendering and just letting it come. As she experiences pleasure, she can feel her body melt into her husbands and breathe deeply to let out the last ounce of tension. She can let her head drop back, or turn and find his lips as her husband tenderly loves her.

Ruth Buezis

Up Close and Personal

There came a time in my life when in order for me to believe that my husband loved all of me, I wanted him to actually see all of me – even my vulva. I wanted him to not just know my vulva with his hands or his mouth – but with his eyes.

There is a huge contrast between the typical experience of a woman touching a man, and a man touching a woman.

When a woman touches a man’s penis, it is completely normal for both husband and wife to watch what is happening – in fact I would say it is almost hard to ignore. It is like this show that demands their full attention until the fireworks fly.  It is mesmerizing and amazing and everyone knows it.

But when a man touches a women’s vulva, it is normal for both husband and wife to be completely visually disconnected from what is going on. He kisses her and embraces her, and secretly slips a hand between her legs. Nobody talks about it or looks and they barely acknowledge that it is happening besides the occasional uncomfortable attempt at guidance or direction. It is just some anonymous thing that happens between her legs, while the real attention is lavished in more acceptable places. There is no grand finale to be eagerly watched for or anticipated from her vulva, but it is the more subtle clues of ecstasy that are awaited.

Contrary to what is commonly believed, maybe mostly by ourselves, our bodies are amazing. And though changes during arousal are not as obvious, a careful student of his wife will notice engorgement, physical changes  and even color changes. So maybe sometimes a husband ought to enjoy the show up close and personal and give his wife a sensual play by play of the amazing show that he sees and feels.

Tell your wife that you want to get to know her body more and that you would like to watch as you arouse her with your hands and take her over the top. Set up soft lights, and warm the room to make her comfortable. Have her gently spread her legs as you kneel between them. Keep your free hand on her legs or body to hold her steady and connected. Take her in with your eyes as you work your magic with your hands.For variety try  a thumb or palm. Smile at her once in a while, voice your pleasure  as you enjoy her pleasure, and

let her know just how amazed you are.

Ruth Buezis


Lazy 69

The traditional 69 position of woman on top, mouth to genitals,  can be challenging to wives for several reasons:

  • it takes a lot of arm strength to hold up her body – especially if she wants to get another hand involved in the action
  • it is hard to stay under the covers on a cold night
  • it can feel as if her rear is literally right in front of her husbands eyes
  • there are few physical points of connection other than mouths on genitals

So here is another position that provides simultaneous oral pleasure, is relaxing for both husband and wife, and provides  loads of skin to skin connection.

The Lazy 69

Align your bodies similar to the traditional 69 position but instead, both of you lay on your side in a gently curled up position. The wife will need to gently spread her legs apart so that the husband can rest his clean shaven cheek on her inner thigh. The wife can either rest her head on the mattress or on a small pillow. Both husband and wife can gently pull the other closer for more intimate contact. In this relaxed position it is easy to stay warm under the covers. Hands can freely be used to stroke, caress  or grasp. If the wife wants more access to his testicles or perineum, she can gently spread his legs.  Bodies can be pulled even closer to gain further access or just to meld bodies together as pleasure mounts.

Take all the time in the world as you explore and enjoy 

The Lazy 69

Ruth Buezis

Reverse Cowgirl

bootsWhen you are feeling playful and in the mood to experiment, then the reverse cowgirl position offers a number of variations to enjoy.  With the husband laying on his back, propped up to the degree needed to be comfortable and to have a good line of sight, his wife straddles his pelvis while facing away from him. This gives the husband an amazing view of his wife’s back and bottom. Though the wife cannot see her husband’s face, she can focus on hearing and feeling him more intently.  Or a mirror at the end of the bed can provide the wife a view of the action if desired.

In this position, with the wife upright, she can control much of the movement and the depth of penetration – allowing for either clitoral, g-spot or deep spot stimulation depending what she is aiming for.  However, the position is not limited to this alone. Try different variations with her upright, her leaning forward, her leaning back balanced on her hands or her leaning back onto his chest.  Each changes the sensations.

Experiment with her legs straight down on the outside of his, his legs on the outside of hers, his legs dangling over the side of the bed and his legs wrapped around her straight legs.  All of these variations change the angle at which the husband’s penis hits and who leads the movement.  Clearly, this position necessitates communication, so don’t be afraid to say howdy to your partner as different variations are savored again and again.

Reserve cowgirl can be great during pregnancy. Husbands who enjoy seeing their wife’s backside will relish this position, too. As he marvels, he can grab onto her hips, manually stimulate her clitoris and/or breasts, and use his words to describe the beauty that he sees.  All around, reverse cowgirl is a sure fire way to have fun while boosting a wife’s confidence.  So whether you live way out yonder or are a city slicker, it’s time to giddy up!


The Peak of Confidence

peakThis position only happens when a wife feels absolutely at the peak of confidence. She must be thoroughly warmed up and beyond worrying about what she looks like, or even societal roles and norms. Her body feels sleek, clean and sexy and she feels secure asking for what she wants. She knows her husband wants to give it to her – in fact, he doesn’t just want to give it to her – it turns him on.

The wife might start out by giving her husband oral stimulation or manual stimulation with him laying on his back, his head propped up with a pillow so that he can see better.  When she is ready, she can transition by telling him it is her turn. She can spend some time kissing, rubbing her body along his and eventually make it clear that she has even bigger plans.

She can then move into position, straddling his face so he can pleasure her with oral stimulation. Holding a headboard will provide her support. A husband can provide additional connection and stimulation by using his hands on her buttocks or breasts. The wife can take control of the movement, pressure and pace. She can fully open herself up and take advantage of building tension by flexing her pelvis forward as the husband gains full access to her body.

Step out, stay in the moment and thrill your husband as you soar at ….

The Peak of Confidence

Ruth Buezis