Reverse Cowgirl

bootsWhen you are feeling playful and in the mood to experiment, then the reverse cowgirl position offers a number of variations to enjoy.  With the husband laying on his back, propped up to the degree needed to be comfortable and to have a good line of sight, his wife straddles his pelvis while facing away from him. This gives the husband an amazing view of his wife’s back and bottom. Though the wife cannot see her husband’s face, she can focus on hearing and feeling him more intently.  Or a mirror at the end of the bed can provide the wife a view of the action if desired.

In this position, with the wife upright, she can control much of the movement and the depth of penetration – allowing for either clitoral, g-spot or deep spot stimulation depending what she is aiming for.  However, the position is not limited to this alone. Try different variations with her upright, her leaning forward, her leaning back balanced on her hands or her leaning back onto his chest.  Each changes the sensations.

Experiment with her legs straight down on the outside of his, his legs on the outside of hers, his legs dangling over the side of the bed and his legs wrapped around her straight legs.  All of these variations change the angle at which the husband’s penis hits and who leads the movement.  Clearly, this position necessitates communication, so don’t be afraid to say howdy to your partner as different variations are savored again and again.

Reserve cowgirl can be great during pregnancy. Husbands who enjoy seeing their wife’s backside will relish this position, too. As he marvels, he can grab onto her hips, manually stimulate her clitoris and/or breasts, and use his words to describe the beauty that he sees.  All around, reverse cowgirl is a sure fire way to have fun while boosting a wife’s confidence.  So whether you live way out yonder or are a city slicker, it’s time to giddy up!


Side Winder

side-winderI don’t know if you have noticed or not, but most sexual positions involve connection with the front or back of our body, but few focus on our sides. Even if we are spooning and laying on our side, it is still the front of one body meshing with the back of another. But the sides of our body contains an enormous number of nerves. So  here is a totally different position that could be used during foreplay, breast play or outer play.


The Side Winder

First, I am just going to say that this position works best when you are both completely naked. When a wife is feeling a little insecure or maybe just wants to play coy, she can curl loosely on her side with her eyes looking down or closed. A gentle but confident husband can approach her to warm her up and draw her  out by straddling her body while on his knees.

Sorry but I have to interject here – it is super sexy when a husband does not get bent out of shape by our insecurities, but instead has the confidence to gently draw us out of our shell. It is as if he is saying, “I’ve got you. I will take all the time you need. You are sexy even in your sultriness. You are totally worth it.” It is not that he demands it, but he takes a step back, and loves her right where she is at, and then he takes her hand and leads her to a wide open meadow.

Back to business – While he straddles her side, he can slowly work his way up her body and enjoy the amazing curves of her thighs, hips and waist. He can view the marvelous profile of her breasts cascading across her chest and gently trace their lines. With his hands he can lightly trace her curves, especially the transition from one curve to another. As he begins to become aroused, he can gently drag his penis or testicles along her side. He can use his hands on her breasts  while gently stroking himself on her side. He can run his hands through her hair and nibble her neck. He can fully take her in visually from a new angle and position.

The wife can relax and just focus on the sense of touch or she can tap into visual arousal by peeking at his enjoyment. Laying on her side with her thighs together she can generate heat by flexing her kegel muscles and enjoy the eroticism of a husband visually enjoying her from a safer place.

Something new, a different angle, gentleness, strength, playing coy and delicious

The Side Winder

Ruth Buezis

He is My Shield

shield3Typically, rear entry vaginal intercourse is perceived to be very powerful.  There may be times that a wife just wants to feel her husband’s strength, but there is also a softer side to rear entry positions.  At a time of insecurity, when a wife may struggle to open up and confidently share herself, her husband can gently and lovingly reassure her of the safety of their marriage bed through his words, skin to skin connection and rear entry vaginal intercourse.

With the wife on her stomach and her knees drawn up underneath her – similar to a frog – her husband can mimic her position while draping his body over hers. The vast skin to skin contact can be an assurance; he is her shield.  His hands are free to roam as he envelops her inside and out.  He can use his hand, she can use her hand or a small vibe can be used to add clitoral stimulation.  He can kiss her neck and whisper affirmations in her ear. She can also respond to his thrusting by creating resistance or swaying her hips.

The connection in this froggy style position creates a place of security for the wife to open up, to be reminded of her husband’s love, while not demanding a lot of physical exposure until she is ready.  It also gives a husband a great view of his wife’s backside.  The husband can work a relaxing back rub for his wife into the foreplay to intensify the level of relaxation and trust that this position offers as well.



Who Are You?

girl-face                                                  guy-face
I have this theory that the way we have sex – the positions we use, the words we speak, the environment we create, or how we hold each other – ought to express who we are at that moment in time. If sex is about getting to “know” each other, than what we do during sex needs to say something about us – not just something about our overall character – like we are an introvert, a clean freak or dramatic. Sex ought to express what kind of day we had or how we are feeling at that moment, or what we desperately need. If we used no words at all during sex, could our spouse tell –

  • if we had a good day or bad day?
  • if we were feeling playful or sensuous?
  • if we were insecure or confident?

I think part of the reason sex can become boring is because we just go thru the motions. It is as if we are talking to our husband and we just keep saying the same sentence over and over, with the same tone of voice and with the same expression on our face. We already know what we are going to say and so does he.

Next Thursday we begin a series of articles about positions – intercourse positions, oral sex positions, manual sex positions, foreplay and whatever else we can think of. Our goal is not to just describe the physical placement or alignment of body parts but to tie the position to different emotions and expressions. Feel free to send us suggestions of what you want covered. We want to explore and stretch you in how to reveal yourself to your spouse. Some things are just too hard to put into words – or maybe words are just inadequate –  but I think God gave us the gift of sex as a supernatural way to communicate. So let’s start communicating.

Ruth Buezis


If I discovered a magic position that all women would experience an orgasm during intercourse, then I would be a millionaire. I wish it were that simple. No magic position exists, but as we get to know ourselves and each other, we can learn to move in ways that target pleasure spots.

There are really only a handful of different positions but modifying them in small ways can make a huge difference in how they stimulate our bodies. Recognizing which pathway we are trying to stimulate – clitoral, G-spot, or Deep spot – will help us capitalize on the kind of movement that works best. Let’s approach this according to which pathway we are targeting. For the purpose of keying into what feels good, I would suggest that you limit other stimulation for the time being.

Although this article could be helpful for anyone, it is part of a series “How to have  an orgasm during intercourse”. If you are working towards that goal, please make sure that you read my previous articles The Big Question, His and Her KegelsTalk about What?Flexibility TrainingDifferent Pathways,  The Man Factor, and Mind over Matter